No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Yesterday, I was talking about how you can’t cure stupid.  But I took on a client who didn’t have the brains God gave a tree stump … so I suppose I wasn’t much brighter.

This person was afraid of offending their list and was afraid to try to “sell” to them.   So why bother to have a list?  Running a non-profit agency, are we?

So I’m going to be cool and show this client how to sell.  (Again, to a list that had never been sold to before.)  True to form, the first email that went out got one response that resented how a sales message was being pushed … and the recipient asked to be taken off the list.

My client recoiled in horror.

Well, what did they expect?  If you have a list you never sell to, then you’ve trained them that way.  Now all of a sudden you try to sell to them, you’re likely to get some of them p. o’d.

But what’s the point of having a list if not to sell to them?  And why would you want someone on your list if they are going to resent you for selling to them?  Or are you running a popularity contest, and want to be liked?

To me, one of the best ways  to be liked is to have people give me money.

Now get this … another client actually phoned her.  Sorry, I love the people on my list, but I don’t usually take calls from them.  Anyways, they asked if my client was angry at the affiliate that my client was promoting?   Instead of my client responding with a good-natured chuckle and explaining the letter, the client instead went ballistic.

Yes, my client was so shocked that they immediately stopped all copy from proceeding.   I was fired on the spot.

Good thing.  My client beat me to the punch.

Any marketer with any savvy knows that a list will respond to however you choose to train it.  Train it to ignore or delete your emails because they are boring, or offer no value, and that’s what your list will do.  Offer your people value, and they’ll open and read what you send them.

Entertain, inform, and offer them a good value.  That’s the million dollar formula that I’ve used with great success.

But having a list and NOT selling to it is about the most namby-pamby, wussy thing you can do … and it will severely limit your business growth.  See, you’ve trained them to suck in information free from you, and that’s the basis of your relationship.  Try and change that, and yes, it’ll rock the boat.

Like, try to change the basis of your relationship with your spouse and see what happens.

So, I wasted a lot of hours, trying to educate this client.  I also did not receive a cent from them. I wanted the copy to prove to them its value, since they were shocked at having to actually spend money.  I was going to show them how the copy will pay for itself by taking the risk upfront, not charging until it produced results.  Yep, I was the Boy Scout, out to do my good deed, and not take a cent until clearly earned.

True to form, no good deed goes unpunished.

In the end, they offered to pay me, maybe just to get rid of me.  I refused to accept any money from the client.  The failure was theirs for not having a clue as to what they were getting into, and getting freaked out over one or two negative responses.

If I accept pay from them, it’s almost like I’m complicit in their stupidity.  Hell, I’ve got enough of my own to deal with.

So what I WILL do is accept the responsibility for being just as big of an idiot in my own way … for trying to cure someone’s stupidity.

And no, I don’t mean ignorance.  I mean stupidity.

Someone who is ignorant to the ways of direct response, but asks for it anyway, then drops it like a hot potato at the first sign of someone not liking them, is far beyond ignorant.

But then I knew ahead of time that trying to write for a client and educate them at the same time is a losing proposition.  It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing: it wastes your time, and annoys the pig.

Sure hope I don’t make that mistake again.

-Kevin Dawson