You Can’t Cure Stupid

As a copywriter, you possess awesome powers.  You can take someone who’s tens of thousands of dollars in debt, and make them into a millionaire in a couple of weeks.  You can transform a failing business into a cash generating powerhouse.  You can persuade people to donate to a cause, or vote for a certain political candidate.  You can even  develop a cult-like group of fans who follow your every move, and want to buy any product you put out … just because it’s yours.

But you can’t cure stupid.

I have painfully discovered this for the third time in my career.  A prospective client asks me, “What’s the cost of writing some sales copy for my website?”

That immediately raised a flag.  It’s the classic amateur question from someone who’s probably never used a copywriter before.  I asked back, “What’s your experience with direct marketing?”

“None, really.  I just got your name from someone else.”

Since the potential client seemed very nice, and the source of the referral was a regular, I decided I take on the job, despite my misgivings.

The first sample I sent got a response, “Oh, I could never send something like that to my list.  It doesn’t reflect my personality.”

“Well, of course not.  You tell me you don’t understand direct response, so how could you possibly send out a direct response piece in ‘your personality?’ ”

“Oh, yes.  I see.  Well, I never wanted to do anything tacky like these emails that I see that just try to sell.”

Okay, another red flag.  So to show the client the value of a professionally written email, I asked, “What’s your present open stats and your click-through stats?”

“I don’t track them, because then the links would not look so pretty.”

That should have told me all I needed to know to fire them, right then and there.  But nooooooo, I had to be Mr. Nice Guy, (read: idiot)  and try and help.

Check back tomorrow to find out how no good deed goes unpunished.

Kevin Dawson